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Thursday, December 1, 2011

Just Some Thoughts

So usually I start a blog with some sort of theme in mind or at least an idea of where it will be going, this isn't one of those blogs. Right now I'm home trying to escape the hot Santiago sun for a little while and just mulling over my last few weeks. I think I have said this before but time has a strange way of moving here. I feel the school week went by fast but when I think back to a week ago (Thanksgiving) it really feels like it was so much longer ago. I have a few thoughts as to the reason time ends up feeling like this way for me and I think the one easiest to explain is that I change so much each passing day that (to myself) I know I'm not the person I was a week ago. That person seems so different for only having been a week ago. Right now I'm restless and so this blog may help me get some thoughts straight.

Last week was quite a ride. I was stressed out and at points bummed out and at other points so incredibly happy. My week started off kinda lame with me losing my whole powerpoint (Comp froze and the usual back up didn't happen) that I had been working on all monday afternoon and me having to ask for an extension. It was lame sauce and incredibly frustrating to have spent so much time on something and it all be for nothing. I really wanting to get it done on tuesday but instead it would now be on thursday the same day as a different test. It was a good thing I was planning on pizza and a movie at the Marine house because if not for that I would have been a pretty unhappy camper that evening. This was also the night that Bryan told me he would be heading to Burma on Wednesday. I went to bed feeling pretty low.

Tuesdays are my busier days but never too bad, it was so nice outside that it was hard not to feel better. On tuesdays I have about 3 hours between class and volunteering so I head to my favorite cafe in the park by the children's home and do hw/people watch in the park. Bryan happened to be free so he came and chilled with me for a little while before I went over to play with the kids. After that was dance class and then the best part of my day. All of us in small group and church got together at a pizza place (one of few places I've been to more than once here) and had a little going away dinner for Bryan. It was good fun with good people and only got better and better. My favorite part was when a few of us headed to a close by bar and I got to get up to sing karaoke :D Love karaoke!

Wednesday ended up being a whole lot better than expected. Bryan got a call saying he wouldn't be leaving until thursday night and I got to do a little happy dance! Maybe this is selfish but a test and a presentation would have been hard the day after having to say goodbye to such a good friend. I felt like something finally gave, and I was grateful! My favorite part of this day was when Bryan hide behind a curtain at small group and popped out once everyone had sat down. They were so surprised to see him!

Thursday was a day of mixed emotions. I had a great little afternoon trip with my conversation partner to a hands on science museum and it was super interesting/fun. It's fun to go and be like a little kid for awhile. So much walking around in the sun left me so worn out though I was dragging butt by the time I got to the Marine house to see Bryan off. I keep thanking God for the way the week had played out because on his way to the airport I was dropped off at the Thanksgiving dinner at my church and everyone was incredibly encouraging. I would have been bad if I spent the hours after he had gone alone so I felt so blessed to have a whole church family to hang out with during I pretty hard goodbye. Plus good food always helps me feel better, and let me just say there was a whole heck of a lot of it! Oh pumpkin pie, how I adore thee!

My weekend didn't add up to anything terribly exciting but I really enjoyed it. I spent the time being a little more introverted/ recharging and I was grateful for the break. Some highlights were having girl's night with my friend Megan and us watching Happy Feet 2 3D (SO FREAKING CUTE), painting at a home for the elderly with a small group of people from my church, and my friend from USAC, Karen's, birthday dinner on sunday night.

Now we get to this week. Still been staying pretty low key and plugging along. Having some big realizations about my time here in Chile and such. I feel like there are a lot but for some odd reason getting into details about it here and now seems so hard.... maybe it's the heat. I'm great though on average and really can't complain. The USAC end of the semester dinner last night has been a highlight of my week. I really will miss these people when I'm gone. But at the same time I'm getting ready to be home and so while leaving will be pretty hard I think I'll be ok. But I won't know until I get there....

I guess when it comes down to it I've been assessing some of the relationships I've made here and Chile. Who has changed my life? Who do I want to stay in my life? What did I do well? What could I have done differently? How can I make these last few weeks the best possible? How am I feeling about goodbye? The list goes on and on, but I think you get the point. In the end there are things that didn't quite turned out the way I had hoped they would, but I don't want any regrets, so I count my blessings and want to make sure I give the last few weeks to God. If you mix all this wrapping up with my thoughts about the future and you've got one pretty self-reflective Aubrey. For those of you that don't know I graduate in Spring..... Life after college is a whole other ball game that I've realized I need to start training for. This is the first time in about 4 years, is my guess, that I haven't had myself planned out a year in advance. I know I need to get myself graduated and I want to hit up Sasquatch! as a graduation celebration.... but come next summer my slate is clean! How exciting! Have a few ideas of jobs I'd like to apply for, the thought of going to a seminary/bible school even crossed my mind, but most of all I know I need to start making money....

So I think this blog ended up about as scattered and vague as I thought it would... ah well they can't all be as epic as the Marine Corp ball. This is just a little bit of me and maybe I wrote it because I needed too more than the other times. But I enjoy sharing so it's a plus. If you do get one thing from this blog, take this, I miss all you guys a whole heck of a lot and I'm really excited to come back to Cali!

Hope to see a lot of you very soon and Marry Christmas!

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